Edification Not so Random: edification encouragement inspiration random self improvement you need to have a seat
by Imma Bawse
40 comments
Ugh! You’re so EXTRA…Like That Gum!
“Wow! I met you years ago at a nappy meetup in the 757. You see so extra now, I can see that the ‘youtube fame’ has gotten to you….such a shame.”
That ^ comment was waiting for my approval last night. When I first read it, I literally laughed out loud. My first thought, “I’m FAMOUS!?” My second thought, “I haven’t been to a natural gathering in at least 6 years. Now normally, I don’t give comments like this any shine, but I felt compelled in my spirit to talk about it. Remember I blogged a while ago that Strangers know more about you than you know about yourself. Well, if this isn’t an example of that theory, I don’t know what is. Additionally, people who you meet…once…6 years ago also know more about you (6 years later) than you know about yourself. Silly Rabbit!
As previously stated, I haven’t been to a natural meet-up in about 6-7 years. A lot can happen in that time. As a matter of fact, A LOT DID HAPPEN in that time. For those who were following this blog during those years, you know that I was going through some difficult times in my life. I had to paint on a smile because frankly, I didn’t have the strength to produce a real one. I didn’t have any life. Vigor. Honey, my spirit was broken.
AND I was was angry>>. 
(yes, that is a real gun. no, I was not suicidal.)
I was dealing with a divorce that was mostly my FAULT! I was having a hard time excepting personal responsibility for my actions and the consequences of my actions. That was many years ago. Here is something I wrote on 12 October 2006:
there i lay at the bottom of that old fuchsia colored purse
in the back of her closet
technically i had hit bottom
and then was forgotten
and unwanted
the owner of that purse was cleaning out her closet
when she discovered it
she was appalled at first
she couldn’t believe she used to carry such a thing
she placed that purse in a bin labeled
“thrift store”
there i lay in the bottom of that old fuchsia colored purse
now at the bottom of the thrift store pile
in the back of her car
the shit she laid on top of me was uncomfortable
but
the car ride was soothing
she dropped “us” off under the cover of night
she ignored the no dumping sign
and placed the thrift store bin at the entrance of the thrift store
they found the pile in the morning
there i lay in the bottom of that old fuchsia colored purse
in a pile of purses waiting…
3 days (i think i lost track) later
that old purse was placed on the vintage rack
and was for sale for 75 cents
and so someone found that purse
vintage was popular
she paid for that old purse in all nickels
she told the cashier she didn’t need a bag for she was going to put that purse to use
immediately
there i lay at the bottom of that old fuchsia colored purse
swinging
the swinging made me think of home
i was able to catch a glimpse of sunlight that peaked into the top of that purse during her movement
there i lay at the bottom of that fuchsia colored purse
sitting in her passenger seat
listening to her sing along with Ambersunshower
she couldn’t sing
she had the nerve to be singing to some dude named [Censored]
on the speaker phone
bless her heart
and bless his heart too
he must really dig her
5 songs later
the car comes to a stop
she snatches that old fuchsia colored purse from the seat
*click*
she opens a door
she says hello
a male voice (the same voice she had just sang 5 songs to) sounds happy to see her
she is telling the male voice how dope her “new” purse is
and how the purse was calling her from within the vintage rack
i can hear him smiling with her
she opens that fuchsia colored purse so she can transfer the contents of her old purse into her “new” purse
she looks in
and see me
well she sees herself
damn i can’t believe i found you…
ok, so i get it this time around.
That was in 2006. I had been through so much up till that point and I was thankful to see the light. My inner light. Right here. Right now.
I am happy. 
I don’t care if no one approves. I don’t care if people see me as extra. What some call extra, I call happy. Back in the day, I would have said bitch you can kiss my BLACK ASS! I’m in a better place and I now send positive energy and prayers to those like that instead of negative feedback. The truth is and will always will be (I’ve tweeted this and have put this on FaceBook many times), not EVERYONE is going to like you and that is okay. Really it is. For those who are out there on the web, you are going to have to deal with the opinions of strangers but I encourage you not to allow the trolls and such to get under your skin. Don’t let the comments of others define you. Don’t allow negative comments to silence you and censor your rays of yummy goodness.
“Such a shame.” Oh honey. You don’t know where I’ve come from. I’m so glad I’m not the person that I was when you first met me…6 years ago. GLORY! I will continue to shine and I hope you will too.
Last night I prayed for the sister who left this comment…after I laughed about it.
That is all. Thank you for listening.
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Edification Reading is Fun and Mental!: books inspiration reading Review self improvement The Help
by Imma Bawse
8 comments
The Help Held Me Hostage (Non Spoiler)
I love books that hold me hostage.
Books that keep me up until 6 o’clock in the morning.
Actually is 616am.
I just finish reading a book called “The Help.” My eyes are tired. My nose is running and I haven’t been to sleep since yesterday, I think. My body is sending me signals that I should probably shut my eyes and call it a night er um day.
But I can’t.
I know the book is not “real” and the characters are completely made up. Well, I can’t say it’s all made up because sadly, this is/was someone’s truth. I can’t help but wonder, however, what happened to them after the last page has been read. I’m thankful for the gift of literacy. I’m thankful that I missed some beauty sleep while reading this book. My poor sleep deprived judgment is telling me to go ahead and publish this blog. With what little bit of sense I have left, I’m going to go to sleep . I’ll post this blog later on.
Later on…actually 3 days later.
Man look, “The Help” was AMAZING! So much so that I found my self highlighting some of my favorite lines. (Actually, I do this for all my books.) Like to hear em? Well here they go:
- Chapter 5: “If singing was a color, it would’ve been the color of that chocolate.” And that ladies and gentleman is call synesthesia.
- Chapter 7: Nothing really stood out for me here, but I will say, this is when the book decided to hold me hostage.
- Chapter 12: “You know colored folk ain’t allowed in that library.”
Where is my mule so I can hold it.Man look, it is 2012…and lots of BROWN people still act like they can’t go to the library or at the very least, read a book.
- Chapter 25: “In their way, they are helping the League reach its goal to feed the Poor Starving Children of Africa, a cause, I’m sure, dear to their own hearts as well.” Such a profound statement. “But Sug, why?” Well, ‘they’ in the aforementioned quote is actually “the help.” It brings to mind how “we” are so quick to help others but we fail to help those who are closest to us.
- Chapter 27: “Don’t let him cheapen you.” Enough said!
- Chapter 28: “Law, I can’t believe it!” she hollers, and we are hugging, Aibileen and me, then Minny and Aibileen. Minny looks in my general direction.” LAWD! This made me scream out and laugh. I love the visual. I’m telling you, good writing will take you out of your current environment and place you in the book…in a non-mental health sort of way.
I’m so thankful that my husband bought me this book. I reckon I’ll go and watch the movie, or not. Check it out. For those who read it, what did you think? *side-note* Why come no one told me the author was a White lady? I was all in the flo’ when I turned to the back page.
Up next, “Cinnamon Kiss” by Walter Mosley. If you’ve read it, don’t spoil it for me. KThanks.
Anywho, thank you for listening. Be blessed. (((BEAM)))
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Edification Not so Random: edification rant see what had happened was... Someone please call 9.1.1. Sometimes you need to sit down you can't make this stuff up you need to have a seat
by Imma Bawse
44 comments
The Top 10 Things I’ve Heard Because of My Size and Height
Like y’all give a damn.
You know I’ve been tall and skinny all my life. 
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining about my size (at least not now, I’ve grown to love the way I look.), BUT I will say that it comes with A LOT of unwanted commentary from people. I have heard everything. Everything, I say. Most of the comments are usually backhanded and people seem to be shocked when I retort with sarcasm. So, here are the top 10 things I’ve heard about my size.
Like y’all give a damn.
But first, I know what you’re thinking, “But Sug, how tall are you and how much do you weigh and stuff?” HISS! Well, I have no idea how much I weigh. I don’t own a scale. Matta fact I have never owned a scale. The last time I was at the doctor, I weighted about 140 something pounds. I do measure in at 32-27-40. Regarding my height, I am between 5’7.5″ and 5’9.” I know what you’re thinking, “But Sug, how come you don’t know how tall you are?” *sigh* Man look, I forgot, okay? Plus, I stay with a pair of heels on so I look much taller than I really am.
Anywho, here are my top 1o comments.
- “What are you like a size zero?” I guess that is the skinny girl default size. I’ve never been a size zero. Never.
- “Oh so you’re a size 2 then?” This question slash statement almost ALWAYS follows the aforementioned question. Always. Again, I am not a size 2. On average, I am a size 6. Telling people I’m a size 6 usually comes with lots of debate. “My best friend’s mother’s sister’s aunt’s grandmother’s first cousin Marva is a size 6 and you look smaller than her!” Smh.
- “Oh chile, you need to eat a sammich (or some chicken)!”
Really, a sandwich? Chicken, really? - “You shole is skinny for someone with 3 kids.” This statement implies that all skinny women should be childless. Lawd! I would love to dummy smack whoever started that rumor. Having a child does NOT automatically put you in the bigness category.
- “What do you eat?” Food, is never an acceptable answer. Never. My simple one word response usually comes with a dirty look.
- “Oh you poor thing, you’re so skinny.” Long blinks usually accompany statements like this.
- “Only dogs want a bone.” Last I checked (which was never), dogs will eat almost anything.
- “How long have you been playing basketball?” Um, excuse me, sir. I’m trying to pump 50 dollars in my gas tank. I know what you’re thinking, “what does gas have to do with basketball?” Last time I checked (which was never), GAS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BASKETBALL!
- “Lemme climb yo tree.”
Um, how bout no. You would be shocked at how often I hear this. - “Lemme get a sip of that tall glass of water.” Again, how bout no. Maybe this is the tall woman’s pickup line. *shrug*
So, there you have it. If you are one of those people asking these types of questions, Imma need for you to have a furniture store worth of seats. I know what you’re thinking, “But Sug, I am [insert your size here] and people talk ish to me all the time too.” Okay, they too need to have a seat and stop asking you those types of questions. 
It is not cute nor is it a compliment. Further, it is rude and mad disrespectful AT ANY SIZE! That is all. Thank you for listening/reading.
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Edification Not so Random: edification inspiration random rant Someone please call 9.1.1. you can't make this stuff up you need to have a seat
by Imma Bawse
7 comments
And You Thought You Were Regular…
At least that was your thinking before YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, and other social networking websites. If you didn’t get the memo, strange strangers on the internet know more about you then you know about yourself. They also have an incredible ability to diagnose you with varies disorders, diseases, conditions, and other non scientific ailments…all without meeting you of course.
OH honey, I like many others, have been diagnosed with ALL types of mess from the aforementioned individuals. It then occurred to me that certain variables almost always mean that there is a “problem.” The concept that correlation is not always causation is completely thrown out of the window.
Did you know?
- If you are too happy (figure A) , you may be Bipolar Disorder because surely NO one can be that happy…all the time. Oh wait, you could also have Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) (figure B) and your alter, we’ll call her/him Chipper, is ALWAYS
chipperhappy. Yeah, that’s it.Congratulation, you now qualify for a crazy check.
- Despite that fact that you are over the age of 18 and you clearly do not meet the criteria for having an intellectually disability (formally known as mental retardation), you may be called “retarded or tarded” if you make a statement that someone does not agree with, if you spell a word wrong or if your subjects and verbs do not agree. Mmm Hmm. Betcha didn’t know.
- Having a bad hair day? Don’t tell people on the internet. Why? Cause after you hit enter or post, you automatically have low self-esteem which means you have depression (figure C).
Duh. If you hair is natural, you are also plagued with self hatred.
- Busy? Hyper?:D Excited? Out of breath? You have ADHD (figure D). If you are on the fluffy side, you need to lose weight…or you have asthma.
- Too skinny? You have an eating disorder (figure E).
- Too damn big? You have an eating disorder (figure F).
- Too cute? Low self-esteem.
- Too many photos? Narcissism (figure G).
- Not attractive? Ghetto. Ratchet. Suffering from #thethrist.
Figures A-G
I guess that’s the risk you take when you expose yourself to experts people online. Now, I must admit that I have seen people and have thought to myself that person is [insert disorder here], but I keep my mouth shut and my fingers by my side, cause who am I? A stranger, that’s who.
Thanks for listening.
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Edification Not so Random: edification inspiration self improvement Sometimes you need to sit down
by Imma Bawse
2 comments
Simon says “GET A SCHEDULE!”
Well, there is no Simon. Just me and my thoughts. For the record, my thoughts do NOT have a name. O_o I don’t want people to think that I’m crazy.
So, if you missed the memo, I said in a video last week that I now have a schedule for blogging and vlogging.
I was mentioning it on Twitter (last week) that I didn’t have a schedule and I was surprised by all the folk in the amen choir.
Apparently,I am not the only one. It’s a CELEBRATION! *tosses confetti*
Well, lookie here man, I was the president,vice-president, treasurer and advertiser for the: “We ain’t got no schedule committee.” #doublenegative But now, ya girl done got herself a schedule. This is how it goes.
Sunday: My official unplug day.
That means no Twitter, YouTube, emails…pretty much anything that requires me to use a computer or the interweb on my cellular device. I tried it out yesterday and I mildly successful. I didn’t turn on my computer, but I did hop on Twitter for a hot second via my mobile device. I’m a work in progress y’all. *SIGH* The internet is like crack yo. Sometimes it’s hard to break up with that jank, if even for a day.
Monday: I’ll blog!!
Tuesday: I’ll do videos.
Wednesday: More videos
Thursday: Even more videos, but it will be my Question of the day video!! POW!
Friday: More blogging.
Saturday: A video…maybe or no. It just depends.
Although my official blog days are Monday and Friday, I will blog if the blogging spirit moves me. Also, OOTD videos will come with a blog post.
I’m so proud of myself. I feel like I need a certificate for the “She got her some structure award!” Since leaving the school system, I have been all over the place like a child hyped up on sugar and red dye number 69684.1984. Not anymore.
Also, I’m going to read more and limit the amount of time I spend doing a whole bunch of nothing…online. *sigh* I really need to get back to improving myself. I miss painting, creating, dancing and working out. So there it is. My schedule. If you are still reading this, take a look at your schedule (or lack thereof) and make improvements that are going to improve your overall quality of life.
For the remaining members of the “We ain’t got no schedule committee,” I’m gone. I’ll be thinking of you, however.
That’s it. Thanks for reading.
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Edification Random: life random rant wear your seat belt you need to have a seat
by Imma Bawse
6 comments
So wearing a seat belt is optional?
“How can you just jump in the car and not buckle your seat belt?”
That question led to an argument. That was yesterday. Today, I thought I had let it go…until we were back in the car and guess what? Dude (My hubby) did not have his seat belt on YET again. Besides the fact that it is illegal to drive without a seat belt, it is reckless and I am disgusted that someone would consciously not buckle their seat belt.
Yesterday, after the initial question, he informed me that he doesn’t like to wear a seat belt because he doesn’t have a pocket knife in his car. My first thought was, what the hell does a pocket knife have to do with you not wearing a seat belt? I was then informed that he was afraid of getting stuck in his seat belt. Sarcastically, I asked, so you’re not afraid of being thrown from your car and dying on the side of the road?
He said no.
Wow! I secretly hope the police pull him over EVERY TIME he is out there driving without a seat belt.
My knee jerk reaction included saying, that was the dumbest sh*t I have heard in my life. He then vaguely spoke of being trapped by a seat belt once (I suppose I could be more sensitive.). I told him how I was thrown from the backseat to the front seat in a car accident once…because I didn’t have on a seat belt. I then started thinking; I’ve almost died choking on water. Did that stop me from drinking water? Um, no. Personally, I think he is used to NOT putting his seat belt on.
Statically speaking (per the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration), more people die from being thrown from their cars than from being trapped by a seat belt. Several years ago, I was on the interstate going west. A fatal accident just occurred, over to my right were bodies on the shoulder. Some included children. They had been thrown from the vehicle because they were not secured.
I know this maybe a little heavy for some of you, but it is important that you wear your seat belt. Just yesterday, a child was ejected from a vehicle and seriously injured because the parent failed to properly secure the child to the car.
Yes, you can die if you are trapped in a vehicle if that vehicle lands in water or catches on fire. BUT, you could die or be seriously injured if you are ejected from your car if you are rear ended in a car accident.
*sigh*
This saddens me.
Thanks for listening.
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Edification Not so Random: Black History Month 2012 books. music edification great people inspiration
by Imma Bawse
leave a comment
The Obligatory Black History Month Post
This ^ photo was taken last year. You too can celebrate Black history month by getting a relaxer.
Warning: This blog post may contain violent punctuation; shocking grammatical errors; misspellings (on purpose); #hashtags; and an explicit ending with a preposition. Now that, that’s said, enjoy.
Tis the season for Black history facts and income tax advertisements. Oh snap! It’s a celebration?? NO, seriously it’s a celebration! Somewhere right now, someone is standing in front of their closet contemplating putting on that Dashiki. Somewhere right now, someone is riding to [insert destination here] with their Dashiki on…and they are freezing because they didn’t dress appropriately under that joint. Somewhere right now, someone is being asked where they are from and how long they’ve been in America because they have on their Dashiki. #Idigress.
For many, Black History month is much deeper than a 28 29 day celebration, an Afro, a Dashiki and/or a headwrap. It is a reminder of the accomplishments of Blacks in America. Some of those individuals are legendary. While. some are only known by a few. Yesterday, I posted a question of the day video on YouTube. The subject? Black history. The question? Who is/what is your favorite Black person, book, movie, etc.
The purpose of the video was to generate discussion. It also services as a forum to bring awareness to some great individuals that some may not be familiar with. I’ve read many of the comments and was thinking, “Harpo who dis woman and man in this comment section?” I am delighted at the idea of reading some new books, listening to some new artists, and researching some new individuals.
I dare you…naw, I double dog dare all of you to go look at the COMMENTS and find someone new, find someone great.
That is all. Thank you for listening.
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Fashion OOTD: Fashion I LOVE SHOES! mixing prints OOTD thrift store vintage
by Imma Bawse
leave a comment
OOTD featuring polka dots and plaid
Warning: This blog post may contain violent punctuation; shocking grammatical errors; misspellings (on purpose); #hashtags; and an explicit ending with a preposition. Now that, that’s said, enjoy.
I know what you’re thinking. “But Sug, you not posed to mix prints and such!” Um, says who? Lookie here, I’m a fan of mixing different prints and textures. Plus, I don’t care if others do not approve…and neither should you. Anywho, this is what I wore yesterday.
Click the photo^ I don’t wanna hear no mess about my Photoshopping. #doublenegative You get the point and if you don’t, here is the video.
Ok, so I was in a funky good mood yesterday. I was also snatched up by the spirit of song and dance. O_o
That’s it. Thanks for listening er um reading.
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The “United States of Tara” had me held hostage!
[Source]
Warning: This blog post may contain violent punctuation; shocking grammatical errors; misspellings (on purpose); #hashtags; and an explicit ending with a preposition. Now that, that’s said, enjoy.
It is 3:55 am on 31 January 2012.
I am already breaking a new rule that I set for myself…yesterday. I’m working on my laptop while in my bed. I told myself (so what it was yesterday) that I was going to use my bed for sleeping and humping, only.
Anywho, you’re probably thinking. “But Sug, where have you been?” Ok, this is what officially happened. Normally, I am held hostage by Twitter. However, over the past few days, I’ve been held hostage by Netflix. More specifically, ALL THREE seasons of “United States of Tara.” I finished watching all 39 episodes this past Sunday (29 January 2012). I know what you’re thinking. “But Sug, couldn’t you find something better to do with your time?” Um, that would be correct…but better is relative. For the record, the episodes were about 25 minutes long.
Anywho, I went to bed a few hours ago and was up thinking about the show. So, I decided to blog about it so I can sleep in peace.
First, I’m going to try to attempt to try to (yes, you read the correctly) not spoil it if you have not seen it.
The show is about a woman (Tara), played by Toni Collette. Tara is CRAZY AS HELL has Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID).
[Source]
Oh, Tara is also a wife and mother of a dysfunctional family (pictured above). Surprised? Of course not. Anywho, the comedy slash drama (dramedy/comama) is about how Tara and her family cope with Tara’s many alters.
[Source]
Some of the alters are OFF THE CHAIN!
Sidebar: For those who don’t know, prior to me resigning from my job in September, I was a mental health Clinician. So naturally, I was giving certain parts of this show the EXTREME non-blinking side-eye. So not to spoil it for those who have not seen the show, I will say that there were events that made me question (out loud…as in talking to the characters) “um, why come y’all aint calling the “people” on her?”
Oh, because the show is not real. Smh.
While watching the series, I kept thinking, Tara’s alters needed JESUS! Ya hear me?! JESUS! They also needed an injection or at the very least, some pills. You know the pills I’m talking about. (Read: psychotropic medications)
While watching the 3rd season, it was evident that the show got canned (mid season I’m assuming) because it went in a direction that took the comedy out of the dramedy. I was like, “Ma’am er um Sir?” You need to have a seat…in a mental institution. Also, with 15 minutes left of the final episode I was thinking “wait, how am I going to get closure with only 15 minutes left!” I NEED CLOSURE!
*sigh*
I did get closure, kinda. For the record, it was not what I wanted and I kept asking…”I wonder what happen when [spoiler withheld for your protection]”
So, 2 days later. I’m still thinking about that show. Smh. ALL types of mental illness was ALL up and in “United States of Tara” and in the movies, books, other television shows, the news, and real life. ALL UP AND IN, I SAY! I then got to thinking about my run in with “The Black Swan.”
*sigh*
I know what you’re thinking. “But Sug, did you like the show?” Well, I liked seasons 1 and 2. Season 3 was sketchy. I give it a C+ or a B-.
*shrugs*
Thanks for listening.
Off to sleep.
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So, this older man fell down…
Warning: This blog post may contain violent punctuation; shocking grammatical errors; misspellings (on purpose); #hashtags; and an explicit ending with a preposition. Now that, that’s said, enjoy.
I know what you’re thinking…”But Sug, 3 blog posts in 24 hours?”
O_O
Feel free to call the police and complain.
Anywho, I was thinking…
About 2 hours ago, I witnessed an older gentleman go for his seat, miss and land on the floor. There were 5 witnesses including myself…2 women, a little boy around 4 years old and the lady behind the counter. I was at a chicken spot that’s down the street.
(I love there sweet potato pie…and I don’t even like sweet potato pie.^)
#FOCUS
He was closest to me, so I sprung to my feet in an attempt to offer him some assistance. He jumped up rather quickly and sat in his seat. You could tell he was embarrassed. I would have been too.
I was so relieved that no one laughed. I would turned into a pit-bull in a skirt er um, a loud mouth in some jogging pants if someone laughed. Thank goodness. I’m thankful that my sons were not there. They would have been WEAK! I’m also thankful that he appeared to not be hurt. Anywho, I got to thinking, “Why do people laugh when others fall down or hurt themselves?” I’m sure it’s pretty shocking to the system to see someone vertical and them BAM they’re on the floor/ground. Some take those feelings of shock and laugh.
Remember this commercial?
I must say, when this commercial came out… I WAS WEAK! She’s fallen and should couldn’t get up. Now that I’m in my 30′s. I don’t think falling is funny…not that it ever was, but I was young.
*sigh*
Just a thought. Thank you for reading.
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