Edification Not so Random: edification rant see what had happened was... Someone please call 9.1.1. Sometimes you need to sit down you can't make this stuff up you need to have a seat
by Imma Bawse
44 comments
The Top 10 Things I’ve Heard Because of My Size and Height
Like y’all give a damn.
You know I’ve been tall and skinny all my life. 
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining about my size (at least not now, I’ve grown to love the way I look.), BUT I will say that it comes with A LOT of unwanted commentary from people. I have heard everything. Everything, I say. Most of the comments are usually backhanded and people seem to be shocked when I retort with sarcasm. So, here are the top 10 things I’ve heard about my size.
Like y’all give a damn.
But first, I know what you’re thinking, “But Sug, how tall are you and how much do you weigh and stuff?” HISS! Well, I have no idea how much I weigh. I don’t own a scale. Matta fact I have never owned a scale. The last time I was at the doctor, I weighted about 140 something pounds. I do measure in at 32-27-40. Regarding my height, I am between 5’7.5″ and 5’9.” I know what you’re thinking, “But Sug, how come you don’t know how tall you are?” *sigh* Man look, I forgot, okay? Plus, I stay with a pair of heels on so I look much taller than I really am.
Anywho, here are my top 1o comments.
- “What are you like a size zero?” I guess that is the skinny girl default size. I’ve never been a size zero. Never.
- “Oh so you’re a size 2 then?” This question slash statement almost ALWAYS follows the aforementioned question. Always. Again, I am not a size 2. On average, I am a size 6. Telling people I’m a size 6 usually comes with lots of debate. “My best friend’s mother’s sister’s aunt’s grandmother’s first cousin Marva is a size 6 and you look smaller than her!” Smh.
- “Oh chile, you need to eat a sammich (or some chicken)!”
Really, a sandwich? Chicken, really? - “You shole is skinny for someone with 3 kids.” This statement implies that all skinny women should be childless. Lawd! I would love to dummy smack whoever started that rumor. Having a child does NOT automatically put you in the bigness category.
- “What do you eat?” Food, is never an acceptable answer. Never. My simple one word response usually comes with a dirty look.
- “Oh you poor thing, you’re so skinny.” Long blinks usually accompany statements like this.
- “Only dogs want a bone.” Last I checked (which was never), dogs will eat almost anything.
- “How long have you been playing basketball?” Um, excuse me, sir. I’m trying to pump 50 dollars in my gas tank. I know what you’re thinking, “what does gas have to do with basketball?” Last time I checked (which was never), GAS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BASKETBALL!
- “Lemme climb yo tree.”
Um, how bout no. You would be shocked at how often I hear this. - “Lemme get a sip of that tall glass of water.” Again, how bout no. Maybe this is the tall woman’s pickup line. *shrug*
So, there you have it. If you are one of those people asking these types of questions, Imma need for you to have a furniture store worth of seats. I know what you’re thinking, “But Sug, I am [insert your size here] and people talk ish to me all the time too.” Okay, they too need to have a seat and stop asking you those types of questions. 
It is not cute nor is it a compliment. Further, it is rude and mad disrespectful AT ANY SIZE! That is all. Thank you for listening/reading.
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Edification Not so Random: edification inspiration random rant Someone please call 9.1.1. you can't make this stuff up you need to have a seat
by Imma Bawse
7 comments
And You Thought You Were Regular…
At least that was your thinking before YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, and other social networking websites. If you didn’t get the memo, strange strangers on the internet know more about you then you know about yourself. They also have an incredible ability to diagnose you with varies disorders, diseases, conditions, and other non scientific ailments…all without meeting you of course.
OH honey, I like many others, have been diagnosed with ALL types of mess from the aforementioned individuals. It then occurred to me that certain variables almost always mean that there is a “problem.” The concept that correlation is not always causation is completely thrown out of the window.
Did you know?
- If you are too happy (figure A) , you may be Bipolar Disorder because surely NO one can be that happy…all the time. Oh wait, you could also have Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) (figure B) and your alter, we’ll call her/him Chipper, is ALWAYS
chipperhappy. Yeah, that’s it.Congratulation, you now qualify for a crazy check.
- Despite that fact that you are over the age of 18 and you clearly do not meet the criteria for having an intellectually disability (formally known as mental retardation), you may be called “retarded or tarded” if you make a statement that someone does not agree with, if you spell a word wrong or if your subjects and verbs do not agree. Mmm Hmm. Betcha didn’t know.
- Having a bad hair day? Don’t tell people on the internet. Why? Cause after you hit enter or post, you automatically have low self-esteem which means you have depression (figure C).
Duh. If you hair is natural, you are also plagued with self hatred.
- Busy? Hyper?:D Excited? Out of breath? You have ADHD (figure D). If you are on the fluffy side, you need to lose weight…or you have asthma.
- Too skinny? You have an eating disorder (figure E).
- Too damn big? You have an eating disorder (figure F).
- Too cute? Low self-esteem.
- Too many photos? Narcissism (figure G).
- Not attractive? Ghetto. Ratchet. Suffering from #thethrist.
Figures A-G
I guess that’s the risk you take when you expose yourself to experts people online. Now, I must admit that I have seen people and have thought to myself that person is [insert disorder here], but I keep my mouth shut and my fingers by my side, cause who am I? A stranger, that’s who.
Thanks for listening.
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Random: random rant you can't make this stuff up you need to have a seat
by Imma Bawse
9 comments
Freedom of Speech can be Reckless…
Warning: This blog post may contain violent punctuation; shocking grammatical errors; misspellings (on purpose); #hashtags; and an explicit ending with a preposition. Now that, that’s said, enjoy.
All the things that are right and wrong with humanity can be found on Twitter the internet. Keep in mind, the concept of right and wrong is relative.
So, I was on Twitter this morning…actually yesterday morning and I notice this retweet.
WARNING!!
IT IS MAD DISRESPECTFUL!!
Proceed at your own risk.
WARNING
WARNING
WARNING
WARNING
etc…
Have you ever read something and then had to re-read it because your brain would NOT allow you to process such tomfoolery the first time around? Well, that is what happened to me. I found myself reading the aforementioned tweet aloud as if English was my second language.
You know how “they” say, “curiosity killed the cat.” Well, curiosity encouraged me to go to this fool’s person’s profile and read some of his tweets. So, I was scrolling. I scrolled for about 5 minutes reading this person’s timeline (his other tweets had a similar theme). I then had the nerve to read this person’s mentions. Yeah, I was curious and wanted to see what others had to say.
There were about 8 different types of people responding to this dude:
#TeamLightSkin. A good portion of this team were laughing out loud in class, in the library, at work, and in the checkout line. Many of them appeared to be thankful for the skin tone they were born in for that variable excluded them from the assaults from this dude.
#TeamBrownSkin. A good portion of this team shared the same ideas as #TeamLightSkin but the “Skin tone verification committee” had to remind them that they were #TeamDarkSkin…based on their profile picture.
#TeamDarkSkin. A good portion of them cussed dude out. They also cussed out the other teams who were laughing at this dude’s “jokes.”
#TeamHomosexual. A good portion of this team were offended that he would virtually engage in a same sex act, and then use the hashtag #nohomo. Further, they encouraged him to come out of the closet.
#TeamWhoYouCallingABitch. A good portion of this team were also cussing this dude out for referring to women (including his mama, sisters, aunts, and grandmama’s) as a bitch.
#TeamHeterosexual. A good portion of this team reminded him that his tweet was homosexual in natural. They also encouraged him to come out of the closet.
#TeamYouAFunnyDude. Do I really need to explain this?
#TeamShutUp! Do I really need to explain this? Well, I will say that a good portion of this team was encouraging him to kill himself.
I must say that I read his mentions for 10 minutes too long. This dude made mention that he wanted to be famous and he gave himself a 3 day goal. Congratulations? You sir are famous. *throws confetti*
He also said that he was just joking. *crickets*
This type of “joking” is dangerous. Many people internalize negative messages like this and often times go through extreme measure in order to fit in or to feel accepted. Messages like these are divisive. Look at all the teams that came out to “rep they squad.”
There are so many negative messages out there. It is important that we lift each other up and speak positivity in the lives of others…and ourselves.
That is all.
Somewhere a village is missing there idiot.
Ok, that is all…for real.
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Natural Hair Events Random: natural girls rock see what had happened was... you can't make this stuff up
by Imma Bawse
4 comments
Behind the scenes of my trip to the ATL
Um, you again?
Yes. I reserve the right to post as many blogs as I want. 
Lemme tell you something. I ALWAYS have a story. Always. I should have known that my trip the the ATL shawty was going to be note worthy when it took me 52 minutes to get from the plane to the front door.
So, my trip included meeting MsVCharles. YES, THE VEE CHARLES! I know what you’re thinking, “But Sug, we don’t believe you.”
Well, I have proof. “But Sug, you could have Photoshopped that joint.” *insert eye twitch here*
MY BFF, Trish and her Mama came to the ATL too!!
They are in the video…see below.
I also had my face beat honey. I mean beat like it stole something. You will not believe who I had the pleasure of having MY face beat by. ALEXANDRA BOND! Yes, THE Alexandra Butler, MUA put a hurting on me chile. I have proof…
“But Sug, what about your before picture?” Listen, I don’t wanna hear any mess about my before picture. It was extreme makeover situation going down.
She is amazing y’all. If you are ever in the Atlanta area and you need a MUA (makeup artist), hit her up alexandrabutlermua[at]yahoo.com
I also had the pleasure of meeting ALL of you!!
You know what? How bout you just watch these videos.
Behind the Scenes…yes, there are 4 of them janks. O_O
Lemme say that The Underground is a HOT MESS! Not only did it have a flea market appeal to it (no shade), but there was a crazy CRAZY only blink once a day man in there who was giving us socially inappropriate looks. 
We were able to take these wonderful photos!!
Well, that is all. Thank you so much for reading.
Thank you ATLANTA!!
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Random: random see what had happened was... Someone please call 9.1.1. you can't make this stuff up
by Imma Bawse
29 comments
ATL, the airport + me = 52 minutes…
I hope this post doesn’t result in me ending up on some kind of “list.”
ATL, the airport. *sigh* I must say, every other airport in America could probably fit inside of that jank. I’m so serious. It took me 52 minutes. That’s right 52 MINUTES to get from the plane to the front door. O_O I know what you’re thinking, “But Sug, why come it took you so long?” I’m so glad you asked (You did ask right?).
First of all, the signage is not the best. Maybe it is, but there is SO much happening (READ: Lots of people, shops, and restaurants) in that joint that one could easily miss the sign directing them towards the exit. If you’ve never had any issues exiting the ATL airport…you get a gold star. So here I am walking, Walking, AND WALKING some more! (See Figure 1, Number 1) I somehow ended up at the opposite end of the gate area.
Alarmed by my current condition, I decided to ask for help considering I’ve already walked a mile (See Figure 1, Number 2).
ME: “Um, how do I get up outta this jank?” The sista who I asked, asked me where I was from. I guess people in the “A” don’t use the word “jank.” I know what you’re thinking, “But Sug, no one really uses the word “jank.”
HER: “Go down make a left, take the escalator, get on the train, go to the last stop, get off and take another escalator.” She smiled. I felt confident in my ability to follow her directions.
So, I take the escalator down stairs. I walk and Walk and WALK and WWWAAAAAAALLLLKKKK some more (See Figure 1, Number 3). I get to a dead end and I noticed a train (funny how I didn’t notice it until that moment)…so I got on it (See Figure 1, Number 4). I get off at the last stop (See Figure 1, Number 5) AND I am back where I started. Apparently I took the wrong train. SO I get on the train on the other side (See Figure 1, Number 6), get off on the last exit, go up an escalator (See Figure 1, Number 7) and BAM I’m out.
*sigh* 52 Minutes later, though.
Figure 1.
Don’t let the drawing fool you. THIS JANK IS HUGE!
I’m sure someone behind a monitor was watching me. Imma need for security slash big brotha to get on the intercom and help a sista out.
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Natural Hair: deep conditioner natural hair see what had happened was... Someone please call 9.1.1. Sometimes you need to sit down when natural hair goes wrong you can't make this stuff up
by Imma Bawse
14 comments
First it was garlic…now it’s bananas and avacados. O_O
When natural hair goes wrong…
You know what? I can’t even blame my naps for this one. This is TOTALLY my fault and I am willing to except full responsibility for the tomfoolery that went down from 6pm to around 6am. I know what you’re thinking, “But Sug, that is a FULL work day…if you are some type of emergency room worker.”
Trust honey, this was an emergency.
It all started when I decided to deep condition my hair. I was inspired by all of the comments that were left on video 215, “Wanna Win a Deep Conditioner…?” I was also watching *TV show omitted* and the host was talking about ways to save money and still look fabulous. One of the topics was a homemade deep conditioner, made with only 4 household ingredients, olive oil, coconut oil, bananas and avocados.
Um, Eureka.
So naturally, this was a message from the universe…and this is where the tomfoolery began.
How lucky are you? I made a video explaining how I made the concoction, how I applied it, and HOW the “banacado” refused to leave my naps. Um, can we say stalker?
“But Sug, we came to your blog to read…not to watch a video.” *crickets*
I’m going to assume you watched the video. If not, I’ll hold.
In hindsight, I knew something was wrong when the bowl almost melted in the microwave (see the video). That should have been a sign for me to have a seat.
BUT NO!
Remember the universe was talking to me earlier (in a non mental health kinda way) and I AM NOT a quitter.
I think it went further downhill because I left out a very important step…blending the ingredients together. ..
I was concerned with not dirtying up additional dishes! The funny thing is, I DO NOT WASH DISHES (cause I have kids)! My hubby said I should be shame from taking frugal NATURAL hair advice from non-brown people on the TV. O_O
Ok, enough about that. I know you’re thinking “But Sug, how did you get the mess out of your hair?”
Well, I called my friend Taz. She came over and applied a mayo slash olive oil concoction to my naps and went through each section trying to remove the chucks.
I then showered and rinsed for about 45 minutes. I ended up shampooing because there was still some “banacado” in my hair AND my hair was really slippery. The shower was able to remove 95% of the physical tomfoolery, the blow fryer dryer removed the remaining 5%.
And this is what I’m left with.
Lesson learned.
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Random: DIY random Someone please call 9.1.1. When Cooties Attack you can't make this stuff up
by Imma Bawse
11 comments
Me v/s the cooties
You know what? There needs to be some type of alarm that goes off when cootiefied people attempt to leave their homes.
I know what you’re thinking, “But Sug, you can’t control people like that AND what makes you think you can make sick people stay home.” Well, this said alarm needs to sound when they are out in public. That would TOTALLY prevent the spread of cooties.
In theory.
What? Anyway.
For those who are not familiar with my Youtube channel, Twitter, and Facebook page I have been sick. It all started on the 27th of December 2011. I blame this wack Questlove show that I attended and my almost attempted alien abduction. O_O
Anywho, on the 28th, I felt kinda sick so I started taking:
Zicam^
Between the 29th and the 30th I took ALL of this. O_O Not all at the same time.
Mucinex ^
By the 31th, I felt better…sorta.
Okay, so my voice was starting to go, but honey I was cute…
(^ I was at a farewell party for the big homies Munk & Sam. That’s my friend Taz.) I know what you’re thinking “But sug, you said a few minutes ago that sick people need to stay home.” For the record, I felt fine. O_O
A few hours later…
On the New Year’s Day. My voice was Gone. G.O.N.E I SAY!
I take that back. My voice wasn’t completely gone. What little voice I had…was toe’ up honey. I sounded like a wounded male walrus. Lawd knows I could have summoned ALL of the walruses iffen I lived in an area where walruses resided.
What? Anyway.
My voice being gone was not cool, and let me tell you why:
1. iLURVE TO TALK! Yes. Ma’am.
2. I make YouTube videos.
3. My cat Tiny, appeared to show even more disrespect: 
On the flip-side, my voice being gone did have some positives:
1. I was able to get some rest.
2. I was able to get some personal business done.
3. I was able to bring whoissugardotcom back online. YAY!!
I know what you’re thinking, “But Sug, people lose their voice all the time, what makes you so special?” First of all, I am special. Thank you very much! Second, I have a Natural Girls Rock Event that I’m hosting on the 15th of January 2012 in the ATL Shawty. So, I need my voice.
LATER…
In comes the garlic. I was trying to bust up any potential infection and get rid of my horse hoarse voice.
*side note* Apparently some of y’all have been eating fresh garlic since you were fresh out the womb and ARE NOT affected by the taste. Me, not so much.
Moving Right Along…
After hearing the above tomfoolery, my friend Taz (seen earlier) strong armed suggested that I make a tea out of crushed garlic, crushed ginger, cinnamon, and honey.
O_O ^ #soulcry #wallslide #noma’am
I drank a HUGE Cup.
SWEET HONEY molasses this mess was gross…but it worked.
Later that day…
So, my homies Taz and Shon came through and hooked me up. YES!
They brought me their humidifier.
And this here fancy tea. YES!
So, it is Sunday 8 January 2011 AND I feel so much better. Being on operation ShutTheHellUp has been beneficial too. I shall be back on the YouTube this week.
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Random: random see what had happened was... you can't make this stuff up
by Imma Bawse
17 comments
Guess Who’s Bizack?
*crickets*
But Sug, we didn’t even know you were once here.
And by here, I mean blogging and such. Okay, allow me to explain.
I blogged (before it was even called blogging…and if it was called blogging then, I didn’t get the memo) at whoissugardotcom from 2004-2009.
<<<2004 (my first BC)
(my 2nd set of locs)2009>> 
During that time, I had several computer crashes, I lost the software I was using to make updates, I went to grad school, I was broke, I had the people turn off my innanets, and I lost complete interest in making updates was living life.
During several months in 2011, I spend several billion hours moving 5 years worth of files from a Front Page format to a WordPress platform. I was soooo excited when I moved all the files. I then decided to upgrade my hosting plan…that’s when it went all down hill.
Insert some wall slides and soulcry type of tomfoolery here.
Long story short, I was able to re-upload all of my entries but ALL (and by all, I mean about 2000+) of my photos were gone. Gone. GONE! I know what you’re thinking, “But Sug, why come you didn’t just re-upload them janks?”
HA! If only it were that simple. Even if I was able to re-upload the photos, I would have to go and match them up with the original post. Um, how bout NO! I absolutely refuse all of the madness.
So, this is where I am. It is 3:02am 3:26am 3:58am. The date is 8 January 2012. I guess I’ll start blogging again.
I reckon I will give you guys some highlights from those 5 years at a later times, but for now…I’m back.
Welcome and welcome back, for those who remember.
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